A young Indian woman born and raised in Kuwait reflects on her sense of belonging and privilege

English transcript | نسخة عربية

Nationality: Indian
Occupation: Special needs educator
Date of interview: 4 August 2020
Language of interview: English

Dia grew up in Kuwait. Her father has been in the country for around 40 years, and her mother, 30. Dia says that more than anything, the pandemic shocked her into realizing her privilege. She is working and going to graduate school, and meanwhile, only five minutes away, someone has lost their job and is struggling to find money for food or is trying not to get evicted. She has felt anxiety and stress, but her concerns are mostly around her tuition payments, in the case that she loses her job. She has realized the huge gap between herself and those living around her.

Dia has hated working from home. It was the blurring of the lines between personal and professional life that was getting to her. She also missed working with her colleagues in person, although sometimes when working at home, she could finish a task in a third of the time she would need back at the office. She missed getting feedback and support from her colleagues. But once they started returning to the office part-time in June, she was very anxious. What if she infected one of her parents, who are both older? She has been isolating as much as possible since the full lockdown was lifted- it is a question of ethics- she works with young people and cannot risk bringing the infection to them or to her parents, no matter how much she would like to go out. She is frustrated by how lax people are with health protocols, and by the government removing the grocery store shopping appointments. People were cautious then, and she could go and buy two-weeks worth of supplies. But then she remembers that other people share their apartments and one refrigerator with ten others, and realizes that weekly appointments for shopping wouldn’t work for them. It was another example of her privilege. She has been thinking a lot about this and about the need to help others. You shouldn’t help because it checks some box about how generous you are, and also people shouldn’t question the genuine need of those asking for help.  

“[...] I think it has to be more of a duty upon everybody, regardless of anything, just being more open? Being more-- what's the word-- being more receptive of the struggles that people are going through, I think. And trusting them to trust you in being vulnerable. It's very hard to admit that you don't have the money. It's really hard. It's really hard to tell somebody you don't have money for food.”

Another issue that has become more apparent in the pandemic is that there is a lot of talk on social media about “migrants” and “expats”. There is no distinction between the person working in Kuwait temporarily, and those for whom Kuwait is home, who have lived here for generations. Dia holds an Indian passport but she doesn’t know the country, she only knows some relatives there, but if she had to move it would not be home in the way Kuwait is. She cannot believe that due to the pandemic, her friends whose families have been here for generations haven’t been able to return to Kuwait and are basically homeless; living in limbo outside of Kuwait, and separated from their families. She never thought much about feeling excluded before this moment. 

“I mean, I've always known this, you know, like, like I'm wel--I'm welcome in Kuwait until I'm not anymore. But I think during this time it's right in your face that it's not easy to push back anymore. And you just keep thinking, okay, I need to plan my exit out of Kuwait, not because I don't love this country, but because this country doesn't want me.”

It makes Dia feel homeless. Like she has a home, but doesn’t-- as if she is stuck nowhere. She has her Indian passport but she grew up here, and has no idea where she could live if she lost her visa. 

“... if I was to lose my job tomorrow, and if my visa was to expire and I couldn't find another job, I would have to leave the country. And go where? Antarctica? [laughs] Penguins?” 

In the clip above, Dia talks about home and belonging, and what this time has made her realize about her place in the world.

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