An 85 year old woman shares how she stayed connected with the outside world whilst in self-isolation

English transcript | نسخة عربية

Nationality: American
Occupation: Artist
Date of interview: 13 September 2020
Language of interview: English

When Alex moved to Kuwait eleven years ago, she felt right at home. Not only because her daughter’s in-laws went to great lengths to make her feel welcome, but also because the culture felt familiar. “It was so much like the old American south that I was born in almost a century ago, eighty-five years ago […] the family structure was just about the same. I grew up with twenty-one cousins and, and grandmother was the most important person on the planet in both families. […] When I look at the Kuwaiti families, it's the aunties and the grandmothers that the family is formed around very strongly. [And] the level of courtesy, the level of privacy you maintained personally because of being in this huge, huge extended family is Southern. You know, you're very, very friendly, but you're very, very private at the same time.” Alex, originally from North Carolina, came to Kuwait to be close to her daughter and grandson. She doesn’t speak Arabic – much to her grandson’s chagrin (he’s been trying to teach her since he was in first grade). But that hasn’t stopped her from establishing a fulfilling life here. She lives alone in an apartment in Shaab Al Bahri, a neighborhood she loves. She knows the names and stories of all her neighbors. The Iranian bakala manager who proudly shares the pictures of his wife and daughter back home. The florist who once taught her how to make origami. The pharmacist that always made sure she could procure the rare medication needed by her late husband. The five Filipina waitresses who work in a local vegan restaurant and who sometimes bring her cookies. Even when she doesn’t leave her house, knowing that she has this community around her makes her feel safe. Which is why, when COVID hit, she decided to stay home rather than move in with her daughter’s family, as they begged her to do. Alex has only left the house twice in the last seven months (it’s now September). Once to go for a walk on the corniche with her daughter, and the second to go swim in her daughter’s (outdoor and private) pool. Her family tells her she can spend more time outdoors now, but she is not convinced. “Because of [my] advanced age, I feel, I feel it's very dangerous outside. There are dragons out there. You know? It does feel very dangerous to me to go outside. […] I don't even want to go down to the lobby. Because there are always people down there without masks.”

But she doesn’t mind staying home. Every morning she gets up, gets dressed and puts on her jewelry in preparation for her FaceTime calls. The current circumstances have helped her reconnect with long-lost friends, amongst others. “It's made absent family and absent friends much closer together. Now I know what half my, the people who FaceTime me, are doing in their everyday lives, you know, because they show me their gardens. They show me their flowers, they show me their cats, they show me their kids. You know, it's just really nice that aspect of being in closer contact with people I love.” She also has a daily visitor: a crow that has been coming to her balcony daily for years now. He shows up at 12pm and 5pm on the dot for his meals. Sometimes he stays longer for a chat.

Alex has tons of activities to keep herself busy – reorganizing her books, reading, cooking, going through her pictures. She is a very good plumber too, and when her sink started leaking and the weight in her toilet stopped working, she took out her plumber’s wrench from her toolbox and fixed both herself. She does worry though– especially about her loved ones in the States. She feels she is much better off in Kuwait, where the government took decisive action to deal with the pandemic and people are for the most part acting responsibly. She hopes she will remember the lessons she has learnt during this crisis once it is over– how to be more self-reliant, less frivolous; always making sure she remains true to her core values, no matter how challenging the circumstances.

In the clip above Alex compares the Kuwaiti culture and family structure to that of the American South, where she was raised.

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